Many of us work hard to say the ‘right’ things to our loved ones, especially our children. Often however, our deeper feelings come out in the tone of voice we use or our facial expressions. This creates a problem for the receiver of our message: what is being said does not align with the emotions being communicated. This misalignment creates potential for miscommunication. It doesn’t matter how young your children
When Your Parenting Words Do Not Match Your Tone of Voice: A Recipe for Instability
Teaching Cause and Effect
. . . or: “When you read this then you may have some new parenting ideas!” Does anyone else feel like parenting is an ongoing experience of what I imagine herding cats would feel like? I’ve been at it for 17 years now and it hasn’t really gotten any easier. I feel as though I have spent most of my time as a parent trying to convince my kids to
Learning to Ask for help – why do we expect so much from ourselves?
A few years back I read a popular book called “The Red Tent” by Anita Diamant. It was an historical novel written about biblical times, specifically Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and brother of Joseph. It was an entertaining read that I highly recommend. What was particularly compelling for me was the concept of the ‘red tent’. It was where women would go when they were menstruating. They would be
Assertive or Aggressive? When to act
Most parents experience the anguish that comes with watching their child harm another little one. This is especially challenging as it can be an emotionally charged issue for any adults in attendance, let alone the child in harm’s way. Yet for the child who is demonstrating the aggression, it is most likely not charged with the emotion one would expect. As a matter of fact, “aggression” is defined as “hostile
Navigating upset for 5 & unders.
There are few more challenging moments for parents than a young child’s upset. One can never be perfectly ready for every little bump in the road their child experiences. There are so many sources of upset throughout the day. Sometimes they are physically hurt, other times they are distressed over a broken or lost toy, at times their upset comes from transitioning from one activity to another, or giving up
Remorse and Forgiveness: Setting your child up for a lifetime of success
Remorse: ‘Say you’re sorry’ isn’t enough: Seeing your child cause tears in another is a difficult moment. Often a caregiver’s immediate reflex is to quickly command “Say you’re sorry!” However, there is far more opportunity to teach children to ‘clean up’ their emotional impact on others when navigated appropriately. Why not jump to ‘sorry’? Remorse is an unrealistic expectation from the under developed brain. Still by introducing the consequences of ones
How do I get my Toddler to Respond to my Directions?
I have a distinct memory of stepping into an elevator once to be greeted by an adorable toddler in a stroller with her parents. Her big beautiful smile filled my heart with warmth and I found myself smiling back and saying “Hello!” Our wonderful connective moment was suddenly disrupted by her mother who said “Can you say hi to the lady?”. The question was greeted by an awkward silence and